Confessions of a Warrior's Heart
by BlackIrish88
Summary: We've all been at some point of our lives not sure if someone we love deeply, has feelings just as strongly in return. Some of us are able to express with words. Others are like Xena. Words defy us and we psych ourselves up to only psych ourselves out of reveling our true feelings. This will be only a few chapters but I think a lot of us will understand Xena's predicament.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As always I dont own anything or anyone. Same ol' same ol'

Subtext: Sorta kinda, still figuring things out

Violence: Not today

Confessions of a Warrior's Heart

By the gods, she gets beautiful more and more every passing day. I love it when she looks back at me to make sure. I'm actually listening to her, but I'll never let her know that. Her eyes are lively and her gestures are animated as she tells me this tale about a king and a princess...wait no its about some knights. Hmm, um, well its some story about some people okay. Maybe I wasn't really listening. Her voice is like no other, strong but soothing, calm yet authoritative. It sends chills down my spine every time she says my name. My little bard, (chuckle), my bard, she's come along way. She has no idea how much power she has over me. If she asked me to get the head of Ares on a platter. I'd gladly do it with a fool's smile on my face. How did I get so lucky to have her by my side, even after everything I've put her through. She's still here. I can't name one person that would stand by me after all that's happened to us. Not a single soul, well maybe mother, maybe. Her body has changed so much since we've first started to travel. She was so soft and kinda girly with that awful peasant dress on. Honestly she still looked damn good in that thing. Now...now she's the most beautiful being in these known lands. Her body has toughened but still has all the curves in all the right places. Even her chest has matured nicely. Shit, I hope she didn't catch me staring at them...again. Whew! That was close, she just asked if I wanted to stop and make camp. It's a bit after midday,but it's so pretty around here, so why not enjoy ourselves. Maybe there's a lake around here. I smiled mischievously to myself. We haven't bathed in awhile. Good gods! I shouldn't have sniffed myself. When was the last time I washed? I jump off Argo and catch up with Gabrielle.

"Hey! Whatdya say we find a place for tonight and maybe relax by a lake?"She just looks at me and smiles. Sigh. Man I'd kill just to see that smile all day long.

We find a hidden path that looks like it hadn't been used in quite sometime. Perfect! It takes a little bit of time getting to our destination but it was well worth it. Nice big oak tree a little ways from the crystal clear lake, it even has a waterfall, nothing big but it still adds to the "romantic atmosphere." I unload Argo, setting her free for the night. My gorgeous Amazon queen does her duties of setting up camp and placing out our bedrolls, real close. That makes me super happy. I don't really let her know how I actually feel about her. Too afraid of what her reaction would be. I mean come on, who would love me? Maybe she does, I have to confess to her, soon. Soon. Come on Xena, snap out of it. I collect myself and tell her I'm going hunting for our dinner. She gives me a hug and tells me to be careful. I just chuckle and kiss her on top of her head and say, "Always looking out for me huh?" All she says is, "Yup." and slaps me on my ass, pushing me off before I can retaliate. I chuckle, clever girl. I trot of looking back, seeing her walk towards camp. Her rear swaying side to side. I just shake my head, I would rather be dining on that supple body tonight.

My mind is still on the woman I love so much back at camp, when suddenly I hear movement around me. There's quite a bit of selections out tonight. A rabbit, nah. We always seem to have rabbit. Oo a wild pig, nope don't feel like fighting for dinner. A deer, perfect. Easy and tasty. We'll have meat for days. I set up my bow, hold my breath, and release the simple weapon. As always, it hits on point. It drops soon after it takes its last breath. Nice size stag, hide is in great condition and the antlers, a nice decorative piece for mom. I haul it back to our camp, I spot my friend, scribbling on scrap on parchment, inventing some new story. She looks up and smiles, then her eyes get huge and she scrabbles up to greet me, actually to greet the deer is more like it. I put down my cargo and stand proudly.

"Well, did I deliver or what?" I produce a smug look on my face and cross my arms.

She looks up, "Not bad." she says. My pride beamed strongly until she said, "I think I stuck a bigger one when I had to learn the way of the shamnness. But you did good." She has a playful smirk on her face. Gosh, she does know how to deflate an ego. "I'll get this gutted and cleaned while you build a nice fire, hmm?" She nods her head, still with that grin on her face. I like her when she's playful, tonight could get interesting. The deer is all clean and separated into nice portions for later use. Tonight we're having the rump, roasted, with wild potatoes and carrots. Mhmm, I unconscionably lick my lips and as if on cue my stomach growls. I wonder how long it'll be.

TBC

_A/N: Just a little teaser of whats to come. ;}_


	2. Chapter 2

I stride over to Gabrielle and watch her as she is in the zone of cooking our meal. Her brow furrows as concentrates on what spices should go along with the venison and vegetables. Aww, she sticks out her tongue a bit. I love it when she does that while she's thinking, its so cute. For the love of Zeus, Xena. Get it together, you're getting all soft because of your feelings for this bard. She still has yet to notice I'm here, so I clear my throat, "A-hem." It startles her a bit, "Oh! Xena, you scared me. I was too deep in my spices to hear you creep up on me. You shouldn't do that." she smiles and then slaps me in my leg. Doesn't hurt but I play into it, "Hey, that hurt." I put on my best puppy dog face and even make my lip quiver. To my surprise it works, "Aww Xe, I'm sorry I was just messing with ya. Here let me kiss it and make it better." She pulls me over and lifts up my battle skirt, my skin is on fire before she even touches it. My heart picks up pace, I have no idea what she's going to do. She caresses my thigh, Aww gods, she presses her lips against the spot she swatted. I just melt into her and a moan escapes me to my surprise. I know she heard it but she hasn't stopped her advances, am I dreaming? She slides a hand further up and I know my face is beat red by now, I've got to stop her before she does something she regrets. I grab her hand to stop her, she looks up at me with a sort of disappointed look in her eye, but she says nothing and smiles.

I sit down next to her,"So, when will dinner be ready?" I ask her, quickly trying to change the subject and calm my libido. "Hmm, in about an hour or so." she says non-nonchalantly. An HOUR! I groan then my stomach pitches in its two dinars. Gabrielle looks down towards my gut and stifles a laugh. I raise one of my eyebrows, its useless. She the only person, besides mother, that it doesn't work on. She just releases the laugh that she was holding in and return her attentions to the roast over the fire. The sun still has about two hours before it sets and it really hasn't cooled down at all. I look over to the lake, it beckons me, I try to resist but I give in. "Hey I'm going to go take dive, been needing to bathe a few days ago anyway.'' I say to her with a crooked grin. She scoffs and agrees with me. "Hey! You don't smell to good yourself." I still my tongue out at her and push her playfully. She "falls" off the log she was sitting on and produces the saddest child-like face I've ever seen. Do I fall for it...of course I do, she has me wrapped tightly around her pinky. I know shes not really hurt but I play into it, "Aww, did I hurt my little battling bard?" I muse her with baby talk and purse out my lips. She crinkles her nose and tells me to help her off the ground. So I do, gladly. I commence to put her over my shoulder and began walking towards the lake near by. "Xena...you better not be going towards that lake." Gabrielle warns me in that low sexy voice of hers. I ignore her just so I can hear her talk in that tone again. I might regret having an angry, wet bard on my hands but it'll be well worth it. I continue my journey, with a proud smirk on my face, listening to her ranting, raving, and threatening me, that if I don't put her down that I was going to be very sorry. As I near the water, she can clearly see that I intend to follow through with my diabolical act. She starts kicking and screaming and cursing, boy I forgot how much of a sailor's mouth she had. She needs to rise that mouth of her's out, so I toss her. I'm going to be sleeping alone for days.

I watch her fly through the air and kind of belly flop into the water. I cringe when she lands. Ouch, that had to hurt. My eyebrows shoot up past my bangs as I come to my senses that I'm going to be hurting after she gets out that water. I watch her as she resurfaces, face red and eyes glowing. Yup, this is how I die. She starts making her way towards the shore when I make quick action to save myself and dive in. If she really wants to get me, she'll have to catch me. I swim right past her. She didn't even look at me, just muttering something underneath her breath. Maybe I went too far with my playful side. I watch her reach the bank and my eyes get bucked wide. I see her with her little evil smile, with my clothes, and she waves as she walks off. Fuck me man, there's no telling when I'll get those back. I don't mind being naked but at some point I'm going to need those. I swim around a little bit trying to come up with a way to get my clothes back without having to create some deal with my sly bard. To no avail, I come up with nothing but water in my ears. Guess I'll head back, food should be ready anyway. Maybe the green eyed dragon has calmed down by now, I hope. I really do hate it when she's mad at me. I start sulking as I walk back to camp. I got my arms crossed over my girls as a sudden wind whips through the trees. Hera's tits its getting cold, where did all the heat go? Greek weather, if you don't like it one minute just wait the next and it'll change.

I finally make it back to camp, freezing my butt off. Gabby's in her own bedroll on the other side of the fire. This saddens me a bit, but I kinda expected it. Still hurts a little though. I walk past her and again nothing, shes so buried in that damn scroll. By the speed of the scratching on the parchment, sounds like its going to burst into flames. Man shes really pissed at me. I search in the saddlebags for a night shift and nothing. What the Hades! I knew there was one in here. I walk back over, grab my furs, and wrap them around myself trying to warm up. She still says nothing to me, I know she hears my teeth chattering. I roll my eyes and stomp over to her bedroll and stand right in front of her. She doesn't look up but she says, "Um, Xena, you're in my light. Can you move?" I look at her, taken aback at the coldness in her voice. So I just walk off, there's really nothing else to say.

_A/N: What do yall think so far? Drop me a line_


	3. Chapter 3

I really don't walk away, well I do but not in the sense of forever. I go and see if the food is ready. It look and smells like it is. My stomach growls, reminding me how hungry I really am. I search for the bowls and a spoon. Not around the fire, hmm...I go back to the saddle bags and rummage through in search of something to eat with. Before I know it, everything we own is thrown about, everywhere. Still no eatery and I've been look for what seems like all night. I growl as my patience dwindles by the minute. I am about to ask my stubborn bard where the hades everything is when i hear, "Hey, looking for these?"

I quickly turn around, a bit startled that Gabrielle had snuck up on me. My skills must've been thrown off by my over bearing hunger. I whip around with a look of a starved animal on my face. She snickers at me and I glare at her. She fixes it by putting on a crooked grin and extending her hand. She had the damn bowls and my clothes the entire time! I snatch them out of her hand. I snarl at her and turn to fill my famished belly. Then she says my my name with a pinch of guilt in her voice.

"Xena." I turn around to see shimmering green eyes full of shame. "Sorry for getting so mad the way I did. I know you were playing around and I really couldn't tell you why I got so mad. Guess you really do listen to me when I say you need to get in touch with your inner child. Just didn't know you'd actually tap into it. Figured you'd been punished enough being naked and all. Then I really felt bad watching you search for the eating utinsles for the past thirty minutes." She puts up a cheesy smile, chuckles, then starts to back away. I narrow my eyes at her and drop everything and stalk towards her. She gets a panicked look in her eyes, "Oh no my bard, you wont get off that easy." I purr to her. She turns and breaks into a full run, going as fast as her short legs will carry her.

I chuckle and shake my head and go after her in an easy sprint. I see her run off into a patch of forest then she disappears. She must be hiding because this bard doesn't climb trees. I slow up and re-wrap the furs around me. Don't ask me why I didn't put my clothes back on. Anyway I creep into the forest, with it getting dark and the forest being thick, using my sense of sight would be useless. So I listen, tilting my head to every sound that my primal ears picked up.

*Crack*

A twig breaks behind me, then nothing. I step behind a tree and wait for the source that snapped a stick to slip up again. And it does._ Remind me to teach Gabrielle a lesson on how to be more stealthy, cause she's kinda sucking right now._ I wait for my chance after making my mental check list. She's right where I want her, I spring from behind the tree and pounce on her, "Gotcha!" I have her in a tight bear hold. She squealed and shrieked like a stuck hog. Man does she have some lungs or what? She calms down and begins to chuckle, I cant help but join in. Then she stops suddenly.

"Are you still naked, Xena?" she asks while patting me down under the fur. I tried to answer but her frisking hands feel good roaming over my body over my body, then she hits an especially sensitive spot on my body. You know, that one area, right between the legs. "Mhmm." I moan. Her hands stops, our breathing gets shallow, I freeze at the realization that she heard my vocals. I let her go, I turn around and start heading back to camp. I can't imagine what Gabrielle must be thinking right now. I do the one thing I do when I start to panic, I run. As I am running back to camp, all these thoughts hit me like a pair of chobos._ For gods sake Xena, why cant you get a grip on yourself. Where's that oh so amazing gift for focusing? You've put your best friend in the most awkwardest position in the history of friendship. What were you thinking?_

I make it back to camp and throw my leathers on faster than Joxer falling over something. I scoop up a bowl of stew and sit my ass on a log. I hear Gabrielle stomp back into camp. Her eyes avoid mine but I can see her face. Its tear stained and her eyes are blood shot red. I watch her go to her bedroll and plop down, she turns her back towards me.

_Shit, what do I do now? i fight with myself, torn apart on how to solve this problem with a distress bard thrown in the middle of it. Damn me and my warriors heart.  
_

_A/N: I apologize for not updating sooner. Trying to get back into swing of my routine. I'd like thank a reader of mine Jinxie2013 for inspiring me to get myself in gear. I'll do better, i promise.  
_


	4. Chapter 4

I look at her over my shoulder. She's curled up into a ball, facing away from me. I think she's crying, no I know she is. I feel like a load of minotaur shit. I groan as I turn back towards the fire and run my hands down my face, bewildered about this whole damned situation. I mean I know life isn't easy, but fuck, when you throw a short-tempered Amazon Queen/battling bard into the pot, things are bound to get messy. I settle my elbows on my thighs and bury my head in my hands, thinking of all the possible outcomes. What do I say to her? Confess? _Gabrielle, I have been in love with you from the moment I saw you in the horrible peasant dress. _I shake my head, _No, she'll probably laugh at me. Maybe I should explain my behavior. ?Ugh, what behavior, I've been acting like me. Stoic, hard-ass, cold-hearted warrior. Well, maybe I've been a little too cold-hearted. If she did have feelings for me, she doesn't now. Not after how I ran off on her. Son of a baccae! I am stupid._

Xena continued warring with herself, trying to pick the best tearless route out of this delicate situation. She sighed, blowing out her breath through her nose and stood. Her legs all of a sudden felt weak and her stomach churned like one of Poseidon's whirlpools. She could feel her dinner inching up her throat, closing her eyes, she stilled her whole body and tried to focus on the task at hand. She tried to remember that last time she was this nervous, but nothing came back to mind. Trying to take a step forward, her heart pounded in her chest with each advancement towards the bruised hearted bard. All sorts of thoughts and emotions flooded the warrior. _She must have feelings for me or she wouldn't have touched me like she has, twice. But what if I am reading everything wrong and she was just being playful. I'd feel like a complete fool. Then again she did seem pretty upset when she came back into camp._ _What happens if I tell her and she gets even more mad? What if she leaves me? I couldn't live if she did. Maybe I should leave this whole thing alone and let it blow over._ Before she knew it she got next to Gabrielle's bedroll. It took everything in her to not puke and run.

The anxious warrior squatted down next to the beautiful bard who was now sleeping. Xena thought twice about waking her precious friend before she called her out of the realm of Morpheus. "Gabrielle." she said softly, shaking her gently awake. The young Amazon Queen mumbled something undecipherable and proceeded to roll over, pulling the covers over her head. Xena snorted, shook her head, and stood up. _Guess we're gonna do this the hard way._ The tall warrior yelled in a panicked voice like they were being attacked. Gabrielle had never moved so fast in her life. Clearly shaking any sleep from her body she stood, poised, ready to attack with her sais. She looked all around her for danger but there was none. Only Xena, miserably failing at holding back a laugh. The bard didn't think the warrior's act was all too funny.

Gabrielle tightened her grip on her weapons and pursed her lips. Her green eyes were alive with rage, her words came out like Greek fire, "Xena! What in the name of Hades did you do that for! Scaring me half to death, thinking that you were in trouble! Only coming to find out that this is all some sick game of yours! What, what's so funny? Was this one of your ingenious tests that I didn't pass to your specifications.?! Hmm!? No? Well, If not, I'm going back to sleep. I was in the middle of a great dream." Gabrielle huffed back to her bedroll.

When the bard walked past Xena, brushing ever so slightly against her, the warrior had this wise crack comment to say, "Where you dreaming about me?"

Gabrielle stopped dead in her tracks, her stomach dropped to Chin, and the color crimson crept up her face. The bard whipped around, looking into playful blue eyes, "Xena, I am not in the mood for any of your shenanigans tonight, ok. Goodnight."

_This is not going as planned._ "Gabrielle, wait." Xena reached out and got a hold of the bard's soft hands. The Queen didn't let go or resist to the warrior's surprise and relief, she hadn't turn around yet. Xena sighed and stilled her unstable heart, "Gabrielle, I'm sorry I woke you up the way I did. But I did try to wake you gently." That got the short haired blonde to turn around, her features had softened but her eyes still flickered with annoyance. Xena took a deep breath and opened her mouth to let the confessions of her warrior's heart pour out, "There's something that I've been meaning to tell you, for a long time now. I'll understand if you don't feel the same way, but I need to say it or I never will and this is something that I don't want to take to the grave with me.." Xena started to ramble, something she never did. Gabrielle was getting impatient, "Xena, just spit it out!"

Xena stopped at the sudden sharpness from the bard, "Okay. Gabrielle, I am in love with you. Have been since day one." The warrior looked into the bard's eyes that had gone void of all emotion at the shocking testament that was just announced. Xena looked away from the Amazon, spirit in defeat, she let go of Gabrielle. "I understand if you wouldn't want to stay with me anymore." She turn towards the fire and began to walk back towards her log, dragging what dignity and pride she had left with her.

It took a moment for the words from the usually quiet warrior to sink into the bard's subconscious, _By the gods, she finally said it. After all these years, she does love me like I love her. Crap, I haven't said anything to her, better say it before she gets too far away._

"Xena! Wait, please don't walk away again."

End of Ch. 4

_A/N: So, how did yall like that? Unfortunately I must say we are coming close to the end of this little rendezvous. All I know is that I know how Xena feels. It can be freighting to tell someone that has no idea how you feel about them your deepest most sacred declarations. I am glad to see alot of yall like this. This story honestly came out of no where. I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. ;} -BlackIrish88_


	5. Chapter 5

Xena stopped dead in her tracks, heart pounding, stomach dropping, afraid of turning around. She didn't want to hear what the bard was going to say, whatever it may be it was sure to break her heart. The ex-warlord fought the urge to break down and cry, swallowing back tears several times.

Gabrielle let her tears flow freely as she walked towards the tall warrior. Touching Xena's arm, she tried to get her to turn around, but it was as if the taller woman was set in stone. "Xena, please. Look at me." There was so much desperation in her voice that Xena had no choice but to surrender to her plea. Her heartbreak was nothing in comparison to the anguish and distress in her bard's voice. What she saw threw blurry eyes, gave her a true reason to let her eager tears fall. She covered her face, embarrassed about crying in front of her best friend. Not many people saw her in this state and lived to tell about it.

The short Amazon didn't know why her usually stoic and focus warrior was so vulnerable now, then it clicked. She had sudden realization, "By the gods, this fierce woman, whom people tremble at the sound of her name, just profoundly poured her heart out to me. She doesn't know that I've been wanting to hear that for years now." Gabrielle removed Xena's hands from her face, wiped away the cold tears, and swept a lock of the warrior's dark hair away from those brilliant blue eyes. Xena finally braved a look down and saw a bright face that was contagious, reciprocating the smile she received. "That's more like the warrior I know." the bard was trying to ease the tension that had built. Xena chuckled a little and sniffled.

"Xena." Gabrielle had the warrior's undivided attention, blue eyes locked on to hers. "What you said to me over there, I-" Xena interrupted the bard, "Gabrielle, what I said back there. Forget about it. I'm sor-" Gabrielle was not amused and being interrupted was one of her pet peeves, she thought Xena knew that. She clinched her jaw during the warrior's rambling, but couldn't take it anymore.

Her nostrils flared, "Xe-Na! Would you just shut up for a second and hear me out. Gods!" With a surprised expression on her face, the tall warrior closed her trap immediately. She always did what her bard asked, almost always. Gabrielle calmed down and tried to pick up where she left off, "Now, where was I? Oh yes. I have been waiting for years for you to confess your love to me and honestly I thought I was going to have to wait until I was dead to hear it. I have been giving you all sorts of signals and you would just brush them off like it never happened. I almost gave up because you kept running away. Now it all makes sense, you were just scared of how I was going to react." The Amazon got within inches of the unsure warrior, brought herself to eye level, and kissed Xena with all the desire in her body, making sure that the ex-warlord could not mistake this for a mistake.

Xena entire being shivered and burned at the same time. Who knew that the young, once naive bard, could have this much passion stored away. She got into the kiss, pushing herself into Gabrielle, arms wrapped around her narrow waist. Flesh touch flesh, their scents melded together and it became an entirely new fragrance. This to her was better than anything she had ever experienced. They finally broke the fiery embrace, panting and shaking from the excitement, they looked at each other and locked eyes. This was meant to be. Gabrielle was the first to speak.

"So warrior, was that the reaction you were scared of?" she said smirking.

Xena chuckled away her fears. A feral grin grew on her face and devious look played in her eyes, "Quite the contrary my dear. Now, my question for you is, can you deal with this warrior's heart of mine?''

FIN.

_A/N: Ok, I know this was a super short chapter but who says that good endings are long? This whole story was brought to live by an experience I had. Sometimes you have to grow some cojones(look it up =P) and take the huge risk. I thank everyone who read this short story and liked it. It was a pleasure. I'll be tending to my other stories. Yall should check them out. _  
_-BlackIrish_


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